


The Most Scientifically Interesting Community in the U.S.

by Tenshi029



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, POV Carlos (Welcome to Night Vale)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-03-20 04:52:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18985666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tenshi029/pseuds/Tenshi029
Summary: It's been done, yes, but this is my take on the series from Carlos' POV





	1. Before the Vale

**Author's Note:**

> I just recently started listening to WtNV, and I'm way behind. A lot of my info on some things comes from the WtNV Wiki. I CURRENTLY finished "There is no Part 1, Part 2" The ending of that episode had me yelling "SERIOUSLY, CECIL? REALLY? SHE WASN'T EVEN THERE!!!"
> 
> Anyway, I fell in love with these guys even as they were falling in love with each other. I usually have my BFF read my works before I post anywhere, but she isn't interested in reading WtNV fics even if she IS the one who introduced me to the awesome, and strange, Podcast.
> 
> I really hope it isn't lousy.

##  **Prologue - Before the Vale**

6:00 AM

Pounding on the door. Never a good thing so early in the morning. Carlos groaned and turned over. "Ugh! WHAT?"

"Get your butt up and ready!" Luisa replied. "You're the one who wanted to leave by 7 so we could get a good distance in before lunch!" There was another pound. "Come on!"

Throwing a pillow at the door, Carlos shouted back. "Who the Hell died and put YOU in charge?"

"You don't move, we'll leave you behind. Let me remind you that you let me take the final stretch driving last night!" The voice faded as she walked away.

With a shake of his head, he dragged himself out of bed. It didn't matter if he slept in. They wouldn't really leave him behind. Still ... he HAD wanted to get an early start. He picked up the pillow and tossed it back on the bed before getting himself ready. It only took him half an hour since he had only unpacked what he was going to wear. He took one quick check after he was done getting ready to make sure he didn't leave anything behind. Then he grabbed his suitcase, the key to the room, and headed out to join his team.

They were gathered around a table enjoying a continental breakfast when he joined them. "It wasn't exactly my idea to drive. I said we should fly, or at least take the train. It would have been faster and a lot less expensive." He poured himself a cup of coffee and grabbed a stale danish before sitting down with them.

Dave shook his head. "Neither of those worked, as you well know. Rachelle hates flying, and Mark is afraid of trains. We took a vote, and driving won, 6-to-1."

Nils, who had her head down on her folded arms, mumbled. "At least we should get there tonight. I swear if I never hear 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat,' or play 'I-Spy' again, it will be too soon. How many times can you find a different way of saying you see sand, a rock, or a cactus?" She pushed herself up with a groan.

Stan chuckled. "At least we're not singing '99 Bottles of Beer' anymore."

With a slanted look, Nils replied. "Because the last time you tried to start a round, I tossed an empty water bottle at you."

Carlos started tuning the group out. He had never been really good with people. He hadn't had a lot of friends growing up, so he had thrown himself into learning. Science came to him naturally, and he found it easier to ponder equations than to talk to his family.

However, science was starting to let him down. He hadn't felt a thrill of discovery in over a month. It's why he was moving clear across country. He really needed something new in his life. He was just lucky his team agreed to come with him. He was just now starting to get comfortable with them. He dreaded the thought of getting to know a whole new group of people and getting the chemistry right so that everyone could work together. Right now, his group bantered like a bunch of siblings, but they worked together with relative ease.

He blinked when someone jostled his arm. Luisa was grinning at him. "Don't let your mind wander off so much! It's so small that it could get lost."

"Funny." He finished the last of his danish and stood up. "Right ... I'll check us out while the rest of you load up the van. Make sure you're all ready. I don't want to stop until we need gas. Do me a favor, Mark, and make sure the equipment is intact. We hit a couple of potholes yesterday."

The man nodded. "On it."

With that, they split up. Carlos was with Nils in her sentiment. He couldn't wait to get to their destination.

 

5:00 PM

"Odd. We just lost our signal. GPS is out." Stan tapped his phone.

Nils snorted. "That isn't going to help. Just ... stay on the road. We'll see a highway sign sooner or later."

Stan huffed. "Told you we should have bought a map." After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat. "The wheels on the bus go round and round ..."

Everyone else in the van groaned as Rachelle desperately tried to find a radio station they could pick up.

6:00 PM

"...And they'll continue singing it forever just because ..."

Carlos let out a frustrated sound. "Not to sound like a whiny five-year-old, but are we there yet?"

Suddenly, the radio crackled into life, and voice spoke up. "... Welcome ... to Night Vale."

There was a pause before Carlos spoke again. "What?"

Stan stopped the van and they all turned to look at Carlos.

Holding up an index finger Mark addressed the lead scientist. "What have you gotten us into?"

Carlos felt a small, not entirely unpleasant, thrill. "I honestly don't know for certain. This variable was not anticipated in the slightest"

Stan took a deep breath, then quickly turned around and started driving away. "There is no way in Hell I'm being stuck in the middle of nowhere, in a town I have NEVER heard of."

The radio crackled as reception went out, but clarified again ... and it was even more clear than before. It was like they were closer to the town, not further away. Sure enough, there was the glow of lights in the distance. Closer than they should have been, given their new direction. "The imaginary corn crops are doing splendidly this year. John Peters (you know, the farmer?) expects quite a good harvest. In other news, the second-hand antique store next to Big Rico's Pizza is gone. Or was it an antique second hand store? Oh well ... whatever they were, I guess they weren't kidding when they displayed a sign that read 'Everything MUST go'. Let us hope all of those second-hand antiques, or antique second hands, are secure ... wherever they are. There is another building there, but we can only as to guess what its purpose will be. The city council states that they are thinking of starting a science district. We can only pray that it doesn't get out of hand like the Barista District."

"He's kidding, right?" Rachelle was shaking her head. "Imaginary corn? Disappearing buidings? Antique second hands? This has to be some sort of joke! Let me try another station." She turned the dial, and there was some more static before a woman's monotone voice filled the van.

"Seven-ty-One ... Twelve ... Fif-ty-Three ..." There was a tone like a bell, then she started up again. "Four-ty-Four ..."

Rachelle turned it back to the radio station they had been listening to. "I think I prefer this station."

"This just in. A van is on the horizon, and it seems to be approaching Night Vale." This statement had Stan slamming on the brakes, and they all looked around at each other in unease.

The deep voice continued. "Oh! It stopped, but there is every indication that it will resume its approach soon. It will not arrive in Night Vale until after my broadcast, dear listeners, so more I can not tell you. I am sure the city counsil are expecting them, and that the Sheriff's secret police will be there to insure that these strangers bring nothing illegal into our beautiful community. But first ... the weather."

"We're in the Twilight Zone." Mark moaned as the weather seemed to be a lively mariachi-sounding tune. He took a deep breath and let it out. "Well ... we'd best get this over with." With that, he started the engine and resumed driving.

#### End of Prologue


	2. And so it Begins ...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos' first day in Night Vale is more eventful than he ever expected it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just finished the "Who's a good boy" ark. I'm going to be borrowing the books from the library, but I find myself enjoying trying to listen to the episodes and trying to imagine what Carlos and his crew might be doing. How are they handling things? I'm probably going to embellish something, only to leave something else out.
> 
> Also: Clue-opoly is when you play Clue and Monopoly at the same time. If your character in Clue (Cluedo in the UK) is the one guilty of Murder, your Monopoly piece gets put into jail until you roll a double-6 UNLESS you have a get out of jail free card. Then it's assumed your character had a REALLY good lawyer, and you just miss one turn, and have to pay $200 for the lawyer fees.

7:30? AM

Mark pulled into the parking lot of Big Rico's. "That ... what WAS that? It felt like a search, seizure, and orientation all rolled into one."

Carlos had to agree. "I wonder why they took the pens." He stretched his arms and looked at the building next to the pizzaria. "I'll go get something to eat while you all start getting everything set up."

"You're kidding, right?" Rachelle pointed at the building next to Big Rico's. "If I remember correctly. THAT used to be a second-hand store. Whether of antiques or second hands is uncertain."

Carlos locked the van and nodded. "What better place to start taking readings? It looks like a decent sized building, and we were told that the rent was really reasonable considering its location."

Mark was shaking his head as he and Stan started unhitching the cargo bag from the roof. "Maybe the rent was so good BECAUSE of its location."

Carlos chuckled and headed into Big Rico's that was, shockingly, open.

As soon as he walked in, everyone turned to stare at him. Whispers of 'interlopers' could be heard, and a few people looked like they wanted to jump up and either run or attack him. One person looked intrigued, though. Carlos was really glad he had decided to hang onto one of the new citizen welcome packets so he could peruse through the laws of this fascinating town. Several patrons calmed upon seeing it.

He walked up to the counter and looked at the menu. "Good morning. I'm glad you're open. I would like four large cheese pizzas, and two bottles of whatever cola you sell."

The man studied him. "You gonna be in Night Vale long?"

A voice spoke up from behind Carlos. "I'm sure they mean no harm, Big Rico, or the Sheriff's secret police wouldn't have released them so soon." The owner of the voice walked into Carlos' field of vision, and Carlos had to blink. Was the man wearing … orange tights, a robin's egg blue poet's shirt, and shoes made of … were those crafting pompoms? Seeing he had Carlos' attention, he held his hand out. "Cecil Palmer. Night Vale Community Radio. Do you have a moment for an interview?"

Carlos shook the strange man's hand. They both jumped a little when the static electricity in the air caused a slight zap when their hands touched. "I might have the time, but I'd rather get my team organized first before I make any statements. I'll give a press conference later."

"Your team? Sports? We already have basketball, baseball, and football teams here in Night Vale, but not hockey. It's hard to have a hockey team in a desert."

Carlos was too tired to feel much, or he would have laughed at that statement. "No. We're scientists. We probably would have passed through, but I think this was where we were supposed to go. This place seems interesting, and I'm looking forward to studying it. First thing I want to do is study the building we're in. Where did the previous one go?" Carlos groaned internally. Maybe he should have sent one of the others. He tended to babble when sleep deprived, and he was the only one who hadn't taken the chance to nap in the van the previous day. He was in charge, so he was supposed to be the responsible one.

Cecil let out an exclamation. "OH! So you're going through a scientist phase!"

Carlos clenched his fists briefly, but relaxed. His father had said the same thing about his interests. "Not a phase. Look … I don't want to be rude, but I have been up for 25 hours at least. I really doubt I'm in any frame of mind to give any sort of good answers to whatever questions you have."

Cecil held his hands up. "Of course! Perfectly understandable. Welcome to Night Vale."

Carlos narrowed his eyes. "Hey … were you on the radio last night?"

"Yes." Cecil nodded. "You probably caught my broadcast of the nightly news. Well … I'll let you get back to what you were doing. Night Vale isn't that big, so I'm sure we'll be running into each other again."

"I don't doubt it. I'll probably see you at the press conference."

Cecil shrugged. "Maybe … maybe not. It depends on whether or not I'm on air at the time. Regardless, I will definitely be seeing you." He waved to the man who he had addressed as Big Rico. "By the way … love the coat."

Carlos watched him leave and shook his head. "I'm having Torchwood flashbacks and I never even watched the show." He turned back, and was shocked to see four pizza boxes and a bag with two bottles in it sitting on the counter. "Wow! That was fast." He handed his card over.

"You may be an interloper, but it's good you're starting things off right." The man motioned to the pizza boxes. "Citizens are required to patronize this place once a week. It's in the by-laws. Best learn them all fast, and commit them to memory. You seem like a decent guy. I'd hate to see you brought in to be re-educated for something that common sense should tell you."

Carlos took the food and left, shaking his head. The fingers on his hand still tingled slightly, and what had that brief flash been when they had shaken hands? It had enveloped him completely for less than a microsecond, then it was gone. Carlos brushed it off as being tired, and the desert air getting to him. He walked in to hear his team all talking.

"It's just not POSSIBLE!!!!" Mark was shaking his head.

"Dave checked, and re-checked the calibration. The monitors are in perfect working order." Stan motioned to Carlos. "Oh thank every star in the night sky! Food!"

Carlos was surprised to see everything looked like it was pretty much set up. "How long did I take?" He put his burden down on a folding table.

"About half an hour!" Rachelle pounced and grabbed a slice. She bit into it and let out a moan. "This is the best pizza ever!"

Half an hour? He could have sworn he had only been in Big Rico's for five, maybe ten, minutes. "Glad you like it. It seems like we have to buy pizza from Big Rico's once a week."

Rachelle took another bite. "Mmmmm! I'm loving this town already, even if we DID have to get authorization to own, and use, our computers. Ooo! Does this count as all of us having our mandatory pizza, or do we EACH have to buy pizza?"

Luisa grabbed her own slice. "I hope it's the former. It'll be nice to have a pizza night. We could have a game night once a week and play Clue-opoly. OH! Or we could start a D&D campaign! I know Dave has a HUGE bag of dice."

Carlos walked over to Stan and Mark as the three women started talking excitedly. "So, what's wrong?"

Mark sighed. "Dave called a few minutes ago. According to the monitoring station, we are currently experiencing an earthquake that registers 8.5 on the Richter scale. Which is NOT possible! If that were the case, everything would be crashing to the ground."

Carlos massaged the bridge of his nose. "Okay … let me get a quick power nap in, then we can start getting readings."

Nils motioned to a slightly darkened corner where a comfy-looking sofa was. "That was here when we walked in, as was all the other furnishings. This place is …" She shook her head. "You ever see that first episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation? Where the planet seemed to cater to the crew of the Enterprise? It's like everything we need is just … here when we need it. Like the building itself. It's as if something knew we were coming, and decided to welcome us as much as possible."

"I'm back at my Twilight Zone theory!" Mark groaned. "I do not want to see how this all turns out for us. Twilight Zone episodes rarely end well for those involved."

"That's because the people are total pricks." Luisa smiled warmly. "Nice people get nice endings. Sometimes, what happens in the episode saves their lives." She motioned to the building. "All this just makes things that much more interesting. We wouldn't be on Carlos' team if we weren't all weirdos in our own ways."

Carlos walked away from his team with a small smile on his face. They were all science and sci-fi nerds. Their melding, and conflicting, fandoms and specialties often sparked lively debates. He reclined on the sofa which was quite comfy. He closed his eyes and relaxed to the sounds of a few of them leaving to go investigating.

Just as he started dozing off, he could have sworn he heard a soft, creepily soothing, feminine voice.

_"I'll have to watch you. The zap rarely happens. It's even more rare with outsiders, but I do like the looks of you. We shall see what we shall see."_

6:00 PM

Someone was shaking him. "Hm? What?"

Luisa was looking at him with concern. "I thought you said you were just going to take a power nap."

Carlos sat up, and was alarmed to see the room was getting dark. "What time is it?" He got up and looked around for a clock.

"Don't bother! Something is up with time." Dave stood up straight. "Also … that guy is on again."

Sure enough, Cecil's voice rolled across to him. "A new man came into town today. Who is he? What does he want from us? Why his perfect and beautiful haircut? Why his perfect and beautiful coat? He says he is a scientist. Well ... we have ALL been scientists at one point or another in our lives …"

The girls all coo-ed, and Luisa piped up. "Awwww, Carlos! We've only been in town for a day, and you've already gotten a stalker!"

Rachelle giggled. "Or an admirer."

Nils finished it up. "It all depends on whether he sends you flowers or dead puppies."

Carlos gaped. "I don't know whether to be flattered or freaked out about this topic." He shook his head. "I don't have time for this. I wanted to talk to the press, and I have no idea where I should go or how to set something up at such short notice." There was a pounding at the door. Opening the door revealed a man who was not tall and a man who was not short.

"Earlier today, you were overheard - by several secret agents - stating your intent on giving a press conference." The man who was not tall stated. "We are here to bring you to that conference."

"Best you come without a fight." That from the man who was not short.

Carlos nodded. "All right. Lead the way, gentlemen. I'm actually quite glad for the escort."

The pair looked startled for a mere second before indicating for Carlos to follow them.

Before leaving, Carlos addressed Stan. "Record that show."

Stan shrugged. "Nils started recording at the mention of the dog park that doesn't allow dogs, or people, inside."

"Interesting." Straightening his lab coat, Carlos walked between the two men, and got into the back of their car. "You seemed surprised that I was willing to come with you." He looked around at his surroundings as they drove.

"You're an interloper, so we expected to have to fight you." Stated the man who was not tall. "You aren't the first to come here, and we are usually met with a great deal of resistance. Many leave within a week due to the inability to conform to the statis-quo."

"That's just foolish. When you're in any community, you should obey their laws even if they're laws unfamiliar to you." Carlos shook his head. "To paraphrase a famous saying … When in Night Vale, do what citizens of Night Vale do."

The man who was not short looked impressed. "That … is a very healthy mindset."

"It's scientifically sound, and I am a scientist." Carlos leaned forward. It looked like they were approaching City Hall. "Oh! This will be interesting! I've never addressed a group at a City Hall before!" To his surprise, the two men quirked very tiny smiles at him as if he were a favorite child getting a treat.

He realized that he had no notes as he was led to the press area, but he liked talking about science, so that cheered him immensely. Plus, he had given a few lectures in his time. He stood at the podium and glanced around. He was disappointed, but not surprised, that Cecil wasn't there. There was a wave of overlapping questions before he held his hands up. "Okay. First … let me address the questions I'm sure you're all asking." He adjusted his cuffs. "My name is Carlos. My team and I are here to study your town. From what little I've learned, it's the most scientifically interesting community in the U.S." He smiled. "Certainly the most scientifically interesting community I've ever been to." He shrugged. "We hope to contribute to your town in a positive way, and that we become upstanding members of your community." There was a polite smattering of applause. "Are there any other questions?" At the murmurs, he bowed a little. "Well, then, I thank you all for your time."

As he stepped down, an old woman with skin the color of hot cocoa approached him. "Don't you listen to any of those nay-sayers young man. You've got a good look about you, Cecil likes you, and the angels say you have a good soul." She presented him with a basket. "My name is Josie. People around here call me old woman Josie on account that I'm pretty much the oldest person in Night Vale. I made a little welcoming gift for you. I baked them this morning. I'm sorry they're not savory, but the salt was needed."

Carlos looked in the basket, and was touched at the sight of at least a dozen corn muffins. "I actually prefer sweet corn muffins over savory. These will be perfect for breakfast in the morning. Thank you very much."

Old woman Josie patted his arm. "Glad to do it. You need any advice, you can come to me. If I'm not there, which is unlikely, you can talk to one of the angels."

"Angels don't exist." When Josie blinked in amazement, he shrugged. "I mean … I believe in Heaven and God. Science has yet to offer any other explanation to what happens to us when we are no longer alive. Angels, though? No." His phone buzzed. "I'm sorry to be rude, but I need to take this." He accepted the call. "Yeah, Dave, What is it?"

"You need to get to the housing development at Desert Creek right away. You won't believe it!"

The next couple of hours went by in a blur. Once they got back from that really odd house that didn't exist, he listened to the radio a little. He was studying a clock with a magnifying glass as Cecil spoke of the press conference.

"He grinned …"

The second hand of the clock moved in erratic spurts.

"...And I fell in love instantly."

Time froze. Actually, the second hand of the clock froze for about twelve heartbeats before resuming. The women coo-ed, and the men softly sang 'another one bites the dust'. Carlos took a deep breath and put the magnifying glass down. "You know something? We haven't taken any readings for radioactivity yet!" He grabbed the Geiger counter. "So I think I'll just go and do that right now. While I'm at it, I'll try and nip this in the bud." Why they all laughed as he left the lab, he didn't want to know.

This was not the first time someone had become infatuated with him. His mother had once said he had the charisma of Don Juan or Casanova, with none of the intent that occasionally came with such charm. Classmates, teachers, students, co-workers, etc. had all swanned over him. He had become quite well-versed in discouraging such attention without coming across as rude. He had no idea how long it took to get to his destination, but he had to steel himself when he got there.

He nodded to the intern when he entered the radio station. "I'm just here to take some readings if that's all right."

"Oh! Yeah! I think he's just gone to the weather, so it should be okay."

Glad for the permission, Carlos lightly tapped on the door before entering.

Cecil looked up an brightened. "Carlos! Hey, there! Have you come for an interview? There's not a lot of time left in my show, but I'm sure I can squeeze you in!"

At least the man was a professional. "Uhmmm … no, thank you. I'm just here to test for radioactive materials." He held up the Geiger counter.

Cecil blinked. "You're here to test for materials? What kind of materials?"

That question shocked Carlos. "Radioactive materials. Can you not hear the word radioactive?"

"What word? Anyway … I'm sorry about going on and on about you on the air." Cecil smiled sheepishly. "What can I say? I have a type! I like scientists. I find science fascinating. I can't promise not to do it in the future, but I'll TRY to tone it down." He shrugged. "You have to admit that there was a spark when we first touched."

Carlos relaxed a little. "I won't lie … I've had my share of admirers in the past. I'll tell you what I tell everyone. I am a scientist, first and foremost. I go with what my intuition tells me. Let's start with the base of knowing each other, and build from there. Right now, we don't know each other, so we're barely acquaintances. All we know about each other are names and professions." He turned on the Geiger counter, expecting nothing to come of it, and was alarmed at the readings he was getting.

"Aquarius!"

Carlos looked over. "Sorry! What was that?"

Cecil pointed to himself. "I'm an Aquarius. How about you?"

Carlos chuckled. "Taurus. If you're into that stuff, those two signs aren't very compatible. However, Astrology is not science." He continued to run the wand around the booth, and became quite alarmed when the reading went into the red when he approached the microphone. "Oh … that is not good. Listen, Cecil, you should probably evacuate the station right away."

"I can't do that. I'm still on air." Cecil looked absolutely clueless as to the danger he was in.

Carlos swallowed, and had a brief hope that the radiation reading were like the seismic readings. That the readings were dangerous, but not existent in reality. "Look … I have to go. May I see your phone for a moment?" When Cecil handed it over, Carlos programmed his number into it. "Here …" He handed the phone back along with his own. Cecil's eyes lit up with understanding and quickly put his own number in Carlos' phone before handing it back. "See you around!" He left with Cecil's farewell ringing in his ears. He took three steps from the booth, and had to force himself to keep going.

Things had just gotten even more interesting in this town.


	3. Precipitation Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecil gets to meet the team. Sorry about the summary. I'm no good at them.

Friday came around, and Carlos went into Big Rico's. The team had decided to make Fridays their official day to compare notes and unwind over pizza. Standing at the counter, in a purple rain coat and khaki cargo pants with a pair of pink sandals, was Cecil.

"I just can't decide on whether I want pepperoni and mushroom or kumquat and copper nuts with hot sauce."

Carlos chuckled, causing Cecil to spin. The sight of Cecil's face took Carlos by surprise. "Cecil! You wear glasses?" The effect was actually quite stunning. The magnification of the lenses really made Cecil's eyes look more vibrant.

Cecil adjusted the cat eye frames and blushed a little. "Not normally. They bother my eyes, so I usually wear contacts. I lost my good pair, though, and my other pair are damaged."

"Ah." Carlos took a deep breath, and came to a decision. "Well … my team and I are combining ideas and comparing notes about everything. Then we're probably going to play a couple of board games. They've been wanting to meet you for, you know, science reasons. So if you would like, you could come over and meet them. Maybe input from a lifetime resident will shed new light on some things we have come across." And he was babbling again. "Just so you know. This is not a date. This is a friendly gathering."

"Oh! No! Of course not because we totally don't really know each other." Cecil ducked his head a little. "And I would like to come and meet your team. Uhmmm … but I can't stay too late. I have my show later, and station management gets a LITTLE grumpy if people show up late."

Carlos nodded in understanding. "We'll make sure you get to work when you are supposed to. It's early yet, so we can probably get a few games of Yahtzee in."

Cecil brightened. "Oh I adore Yahtzee! I'm in!"

So that was how, pizza and drinks in hand, they walked into the lab. As soon as he set his pizza down, Carlos motioned to his team. "Okay … that's Luisa, Mark, Stan, Nilanjana … or Nils for short, Rachelle, and Dave." He nodded to Cecil. "Everyone, this is Cecil." He almost rolled his eyes at the chorus of 'Ohhhh' that rang out. "I asked him over since he's been here all his life, and probably has some idea of what's considered normal around here."

Luisa snorted softly, but said nothing else.

Cecil looked baffled. "Oh! I know Night Vale isn't considered normal by outsider standards. That being said … we are the way we are, and we are extremely protective of our home." He shrugged. "But you can ask me any question you want, and I'll answer the ones that I can legally answer to the best of my ability."

Carlos was surprised at how well Cecil started getting along with his team. They took a shine to the reporter, and also answered his questions.

"So, Luisa," Cecil said between bites of his pizza, "you not only work with Carlos, but you've known him a long time?"

Luisa nodded. "Oh, yeah! We met as freshmen in high school." She leaned forward. "I have got to tell you about the jelly incident!"

Carlos nearly choked on his soda. "You do, and I'll tell him about the cheerleader incident!"

His oldest friend paled. "You … you wouldn't DARE!"

Carlos smirked. "Try me."

Dave opened and closed his mouth a few times before speaking. "Okay … I'm intrigued. What jelly incident? What cheerleader incident?"

Cecil looked delighted a moment, but then looked outside. "Oh! Oh, dear! I really should head to work." He stood up and shook hands all around. "It was nice meeting all of you."

Luisa beamed at him. "Likewise! Feel free to come by any time." She snapped her fingers as if she had come up with a brilliant plan. "Hey! We can make this a thing! You come by on Friday, we fill you in on anything scientific we've discovered, and you can report it on your show!"

Carlos found himself nodding. "That's actually a good idea. Plus I have your number, so I can let you know if anything pressing comes up that can't wait."

"Well … as long as it's not an imposition." When he was reassured they'd all be delighted to have him back, he nodded. "All right, then. I'll see you all next week. Thank you, Carlos, for inviting me over this first time."

"Don't mention it." He watched as Cecil left, then he looked over to see Luisa grinning at him. "What?" He hadn't realized he was smiling until he felt himself frown.

"You like him." She said this in an almost sing-song tone.

Carlos shrugged. "Well .. yeah. He's a nice guy." When everyone chuckled, he looked around. "What's so funny?"

" _Noooo!_ Nononono." Luisa corrected him. "You … **_LIKE_** … him! If you were an anime character, your eyes would be hearts that take up the top half of your face. YOU, my friend, are smitten."

Mark was chuckling. "You seem to be the only one who doesn't see the looks you gave him all evening."

"Or that goofy grin you had on your face when he left." Dave put in, then he shrugged. "Hey. Don't take it too badly, Carlos. We like him, too. I mean … he may go on and on about how perfect you are on air, but he doesn't act like a total idiot when he's around you. He just gets a little flustered. Like anyone around their crush would."

Rachelle nodded. "Remember that girl who would put on so much makeup thinking it would attract you that she made Tammy Faye Baker look conservative? Or the guy who thought talking like he was stupid would make you pay more attention to him?" She rolled her eyes, then spoke like a person actually trying to sound stupid. "Durrr … what's duh chemical composition of oxygen? I'm soooo stoopid." She made a gagging face. "Like THAT would ever get you to like anyone."

Carlos shook his head. "HIM I remember, and he got dropped from the class because of that behavior." He walked back to the various clocks they were studying. Even though they had all been set to the same time that morning, they all showed different times at that moment. One of them even seemed to be running backward. "Plus he kept failing the tests so horribly that he HAD to be doing it on purpose."

Stan was clearing off the table, and putting the leftovers away. "I think what Luisa is trying to say is that he's a nice change from the idiots that have tried to catch your eye. He's the first person you've ever given the time of day to, and that's saying something considering time seems to be broken here." He frowned at Nils. "You … actually TRIED that pizza?" He was referring to the kumquat, copper nut, and hot sauce concoction that Cecil had brought.

"Yeah! Well we know this town has imaginary corn, and buildings that disappear. So things aren't always what they seem." She finished off the last bite. "It was actually similar to what we would call a barbecue Hawaiian. Pineapple, bacon, and barbecue sauce." She held open the box and tore a slice into six pieces. "Come on! For science!"

Carlos took his bit and popped it in his mouth. Like Nils had said, it wasn't the alien flavor he had expected. "Not bad." Then he sighed. "I will admit to a certain … attraction, but I still don't know him very well. Relationships that rely solely on how much two people are attracted to each other are weaker than the adhesive on post-it notes." He tugged on his lab coat to straighten. "I am a scientist, and I have to approach this scientifically."

Luisa folded her arms and gave him a look. "Uh-huh." Then she sighed. "I actually hope this works out. You work too hard sometimes." She reached over to turn on the radio.

"Never hit your grandmother with a shovel …" Cecil's voice filled the lab. "It makes a bad impression on her mind. Welcome … to Night Vale."

Carlos felt his smile, and shrugged. "He sounds so different when he's on air. Older, almost, and more serious." He put the clock notes down. "Okay … that's done. Now … what hypothesis do we have about this so-called underground city?"

XXXXX

A few days later, Rachelle came dashing in carrying a few shopping bags full of groceries.

"Get your instruments, everyone! It's raining cats and dogs out there!" She grabbed her orange poncho.

Carlos looked up from his microscope. "So it's raining. That's nothing really special even if we are in a desert."

Rachelle's eyes were dancing. "No! I mean it is LITERALLY raining cats and dogs! Along with other small animals." She wilted a little. "Sadly … they all seem to be dead, but that might be a blessing. I wouldn't want them to get hurt from the fall if they were alive."

Luisa pointed at the radio. "Oh, that! Cecil says it's coming from a glowing cloud that approached from Old Town."

"What do you mean by 'oh, that'? You act like it isn't fascinating."

Carlos sighed. "Stan is already out taking readings and trying to study the glowing cloud that's dropping them. I honestly thought you'd be more interested in the five-headed dragon."

"Again!" Rachelle gestured wildly with her hands. "You're saying that like it's a normal thing! We've been here … what? Two weeks?"

"It's not our fault you missed his brief freak-out over it." Dave chuckled. "There was a solid twenty seconds of him getting ready to pack it up, but the sheer ridiculousness of the reality of the situation calmed him down. Mark's the one having a crisis right now."

"I am not having a crisis about the dragon! I am having a crisis about the fact that they are adding ranks to the boy scouts! It's an American institution steeped in generations of traditional morals. You do NOT mess with the boy scouts!" Mark glowered at the radio as Cecil continued on about the glowing cloud. "Hey …" He grinned. "If you feel bad about all the dead animals, why didn't you pop by the station? Cecil says there's a cat floating in the … oh … uhmmm … scratch that. You can't go in there." He ducked his head sheepishly. "Sorry I brought it up."

"You're kidding!" Rachelle shook her head in disbelief. "There's a cat floating in the men's bathroom?" She threw her hands into the air when Mark nodded. "You know what? I don't care it's in the men's bathroom. This I have to see! As long as I don't have to talk to the jerk who dresses like an Apache tracker."

Carlos watched as she left with a flourish as if her poncho was a long, flowing cape. "Are we adapting to these things too easily?" Then he shook his head. "No. It's fascinating. That is, when you look at it scientifically. Everything has to have scientific explanations. We just have to find them." Then he re-thought his statement. "Just … stay away from Radon Canyon. Better safe than sorry, and the readings I got from the radio station were alarming enough."

Luisa chuckled. "We're adapting, Carlos, because we're all weird as it is. Even for Mark, who's always complaining, this is a dream come true."

They all looked up as something thudded onto the roof. Carlos pointed in the direction. "I'm not getting that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thing about not hitting your grandmother with a shovel came from a Tiny Tim album. I'm sad to say that I do not remember which one. Most of the man's songs were REALLY weird. Also ... it's kinda hard to write about Carlos' POV when he isn't mentioned at all in the episode.


End file.
